Okay.
The conversation I had today shall be written down of course.
marrs
“If you send me a fucking baby, I will hang it with me when I hang myself. I will hang your illegitimate infant. I will. In fact, I am going to kill all of the children that come out of your womb. No no, I am going to keep two of your children alive. Though you’ll probably never have any kids fuck, who knows, you’re probably infertile, but I will. I will keep a boy and a girl, and lock them in a basement together and feed them raw meat every once in awhile and after like twenty years or so I will assume that your children have fucked each other, and when a baby is born from that disgusting union I will kill the parents and ontop of their dead bodies I will sacrifice your grandbaby to Azrael and ask him or her, I dont know if the angel of death has a dick or not, I will ask Azrael to kill me. And it will ask me not to feed the people I keep in my basement raw meat because that isn’t healthy. And I’ll be like ‘well okay, so do I cook it rare or medium rare or what I mean, I don’t know Azrael. I am sorry okay.’ And I will what? I’ll apologize to the dead bodies about feeding them raw meat and then I will promise that the next ones I keep and kill in my basement will get cooked meat, even though you will be like 90 so I doubt you’ll be having anymore kids then.”
“So you’re going to sacrifice my baby to Azrael?”
“No no, that was a joke. But I am going to murder all of your bastard children.”
“What if I happen to get with a guy who wants to have my babies? Like, what if I have a big buff baby daddy that hunts you down to kick your ass for kidnapping and killing our kids?”
“Well when he finds me I will just be like, ‘Oh what? You’re mad I kept your kids in a basement for a lot of years? Oh well, what you gonna do about it?’ and then he will swing at me and I will just bite the shit out of his bicep and so he will swing with the other arm and I will just break it off and cook it. I will just put some salt and pepper on it, some paprika too, and put it in the oven. I will just cook him up, mmhm. And he will be all crying and pissed cause I am eating both of his arms. But after I eat the cooked arm I will spit it out cause it’s all rubbery so I will call you and ask if you know if any good tasting guys and you’ll be like ‘well no, not really…’ and I will tell you that Julio is no good and tastes like rubber shit.”
“I am going to only date Julios from here on out, I hope you know that.”
“And I am going to kill all of your kids.”
This I find incredibly funny, and maybe that’s why nobody else gets my humor?…
